Gratitude

Thanksgiving, a time to reflect, a time to remember, a time to recall, recount, and recharge.


So many things I am thankful for this holiday, my first holiday with my wonderful husband.


I am incredibly grateful for my health, each day brings new healing, renewal, strength, joy, hope, and perspective. I can't take one day of energy for granted. I feel like a new woman with enough energy to outlast even my husband. God is so good. The Lord has provided people in my life to help me get well, it's amazing!


I am grateful for my family and for my new family. We spent T-day with Jacob's parents this year and his mother and I cooked up a storm. I think we even killed her new ovens. What a sweet memory it will always be, and hopes for many more to come. We each prayed at dinner, and she prayed for my Mimi and cried as she prayed. She is close to my grandmother, as everyone that meets Mimi falls in love with her. Overall, it was a success with a Christmas movie to top off the evening. What a blessing it is to have such wonderful inlaws.

This was the first Thanksgiving my family has been apart, my brother in Utah with his wife, and mom and dad at the hospital with Mimi. What a precious thing my mother did for her sweet mom, made her favorite meal and brought her china to MD Anderson for a Thanksgiving meal.


I am grateful for our new family addition, Bailey. He and Lola certainly entertain us and keep us on our toes. It's like sibling rivalry with our dogs. I am so thankful they are here to keep me company as Jacob is traveling.


I am grateful for my country, for the freedoms that I don't even think twice about, but exercise daily. I am thankful that God is in control and that He's calling His children to him in America and countries who don't have religious freedom. I am thankful that for now we still say, "one nation under God."


I am thankful for my husband, for his ability to love me like no one else can. I am thankful that he gets me and cherishes me and every quality of mine. I am thankful for how hard he works and how he provides for us. I am thankful that he sees the woman that I can be and encourages me to love Christ more. I am blessed by his joy, strength, and love.


I am thankful for God's redemption in my life. I am thankful for the cross and salvation, all which I could not obtain on my own. I am thankful for grace that abounds. I am thankful for tender mercies and that He longs for me. I am thankful that he is the great romancer, and speaks to my heart with words that fill me with joy and strength. I am thankful that he loves me deeply and laughs when I laugh, weeps when I weep. He is good, he is faithful, he is worth everything.

New Chapter for Us

Today is the start of a new chapter for us, a chapter I would like to refer to as Learning to Live Alone Again....Four Days A Week! Yes, my husband has started on a project in Pittsburgh and will be traveling every week, leaving on Sunday nights and back on Thursday nights. Pittsburgh=the pits! Pun intended! I knew this day would come with J being a consultant, but I didn't know it would come as our 9mth anniversary present!

In all honesty, it's really hard but we know God has a plan in this season of our lives. This is week 1 and I feel like May is ages away (he will be done in May). I have to admit that this is the first time in my life that I have don't have "what's next" planned and perfected. Our lease is up at the end of December and we aren't fully sure where we will be in this interim. Friends, can I tell you that I am OK with it! Praise Him! I have such a peace and I just know the Lord is with me. My sweet friend, Amy, has been such an inspiration to me as she has been walking this path for the past months while Eric is away for his new job. I love how sisters in Christ can be so real with each other, and open about their pain, struggles, triumphs! She is such an encouragement to me! Thank you my sister!

I refuse to let the enemy convince me that I am alone. I am not, my God is with me! I have nothing to fear because we are in the will of the Most High God! What a safe and beautiful place to be! And of course, I have Lola with me and she is good company and she's a close second to a cuddling with my man.

On a good note, I am feeling SO great! I am just beyond grateful for my health and the great blessings we have found as we have journeyed through the wilderness. I start working out with my trainer again next week and I can't wait! I can't wait to have my strength back again.

Update on Mimi

Thank you for your prayers! The Lord is good! Mimi doesn't have carcinoma, but lymphoma. This is good because we can start chemo right away and hopefully put it in remission. She has her first appointment with the oncologist at MD Anderson is tomorrow, so we'll know more about the extent of her treatment then. She is back at home and her sister is staying with her. She had a stint put in her kidney before she left the hospital. She is still losing blood, so please pray for her strength. I know she has a fight ahead of her. I spent some time in the chemo lab when I needed iron injections. It's an amazing place, full of life! I met some of the most amazing people there. I am praying for a friend, a godly friend to fight with her. I believe God is doing something in our family through this. More updates to come.......

"The Lord is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock in whom I take refuge. He is my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold." Psalm 18:2

Promises

Life can be so very hard, but thank the Lord it's only a "blink of an eye." Sometimes, life feels so fragile and fleeting, then I remember that our hearts are set in eternity.

I am eagerly awaiting the phone call from my mother about what type of cancer my Mimi has. We learned yesterday that it's not only in her stomach, but has spread to other areas. It's been going on for a long time. One type will be treatable, another will take her life. So hard! Yet, I know the Lord is with her this morning, as He always has been. I pray for peace and grace to rest over her! I pray that the Lord spares her life if it's His will! I know He's holding her up with his "righteous right hand."

There are many around her that don't have the same hope. It's so hard for people to understand a God who would allow such a wonderful lady to be struck with a horrible, devastating disease. But those who have a hope, know that the Lord allows suffering and we don't always know why, but we do know that it's to bring glory to His name. He is God, He is good. He promises to never leave us, and I know He's been faithful to that promise!

Please pray for Mimi and pray for my family!

Alive and Well

We don't have power at our place yet, but everything is ok! We did have to throw away or whole refrigerator and freezer, but those items can be replaced. Considering the rest of Houston, we feel blessed. It's such a sad sight driving and seeing so many businesses and homes hurt. I think Houston lost at least 40% of it's trees.

We got back on Sunday night and have been camping out at my parent's house in Sugar Land because they have power. It's actually been nice, no work, movies and lots of naps! Our puppy has been thrilled to play with the big dogs!

We had a great weekend in Austin, stayed at the Hyatt Lost Pines Resort, they actually allow pets so almost the whole hotel was full of Houstonians escaping Ike. If you ever get a chance to stay at the Hyatt, I absolutely recommend it. They have so many fun things to do, horseback riding, a pool with a lazy river, kayaking, great food, and a spa. It seems like a great place to take kiddos with all the fun activities they plan for them. Lola had a blast running through the woods and wading into the Colorado river. We were able to get updates on the storm because they were broadcasting Houston news channels.

We'll keep bunking out here, till we have lights! I am so thankful for the cool weather that the Lord sent to our city. What a blessing! Keep praying for Houston and Galveston!

Welcome Little Miss Lola!

Joy of joys, our little girl puppy is here! We are thrilled. We picked her up from the puppy shippers last night, she made her way down to Texas in a van from Missouri. She is such a blessing, and God brought her at the perfect time. I took a picture of her set-up, the funny thing is that we've opened and re-boxed three crates because we couldn't decide on the size, I think she'll be happy with her little resting place, her little brown pillow and pink lamb. J is reading away, every Cesar book in print, and all at once I might add. What a multi-tasker! He's going to have Lola perfectly trained. She'll be the best dog ever!

Our first night was a little ruff! She wouldn't sleep in her crate for long. About 2am we decided to put her in bed with us and of course she snuggled to my neck and went right to sleep. Poor daddy didn't go back to sleep the rest of the night. Let's hope for more regular sleeping patterns!

Refiners Fire

So much going on in our lives. It hasn't been the easiest season, but wow our marriage has been strengthened. I feel like this is all I blog about, so please don't think that we don't have some amazing things going on in the Martin household. We have much to be thankful for! I just feel that I should share these things, in hopes that they encourage someone reading. So many people I know are going through hard things. It seems like our first response is to wonder what God is doing. In our flesh, we wish that this hadn't been part of the plan. I don't think asking, "why" is a sin or shows a lack of trust in any way. Our Lord called out from the cross, "my God my God why has Thou forsaken me?!" A very human response to his heart's agony. It becomes sin when we begin to resent God and doubt His love for us. Look back to the fall, the great sin of Adam and Eve...believing God was cheating them of something. Sin enters because they listened to the enemy and chose the lesser.



I know without a doubt my suffering is in His plan, and He gently whispers over and over, "trust me." Who am i to question or doubt what He's doing in me? How He'll use this pain one day hopefully to bless and encourage. As I've pondered the lessons to learn, I know He's calling me more to eternal things, as this world will only disappoint, so I will "press on towards the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus." Everything He does is weighed and measured for our eternal good. Lay it all down. "Lord you have assigned me my portion and my cup, and have made my lot secure." This is my cup, my portion. My lot is secure. What peace in that, He's in control! I know the Enemy longs to disquiet my peace, he's trying so very hard to push his silly lies. Has your Lord abandoned you? Does He really have your best in mind? Why would a loving God allow this? No, never! I will never stop praising and I will never turn back.


For now, I will walk into the Refiners fire and trust.

Worship on Sunday

What a great day Sunday was! God is doing so much right now, and I sense His closeness and power. We had a great meeting with my doctor last week, the Lord answered our prayers for it. Thank you for your prayers!! I am feeling much better, and have energy again which is one of the greatest blessings. I will be on some medicine for a short while, and am working to set up things with this new doctor.

Sunday I sang in the chapel...such a different worship experience! I could see everyone's faces, tears, smiles, all the way to the back. Most of the crowd in there were friends, which just made it sweeter. I had so much to pour out to the Lord, joy and gratitude.

The bigger blessing really is in watching His people worship. It's something I don't take lightly. There was our lead electric guitarist's whole family, front and center, his wife and kids smiling and dancing. Right behind them was a blind man, who had the biggest smile I have ever seen. He sang his heart out to "Marvelous Light." The "marvelous light" for him will be the first glimpse of the Lord. I was blown away. I saw a girl singing who had tears streaming down her face, both hands lifted high to her Creator. God is powerful! Part of me wished I could sit them all down and hear their stories, the joys and struggles. I just love the body of Christ! Seriously, I love watching people meet God in worship and be transformed. I love their honesty with Him in worship, i can see it all over their faces. It's in those spots, I am drawn deeper in my own worship. It sure makes me think of and long for heaven! How fantastic will worshipping the Lord face to face, all the time be?!

Oh Come Let Us Worship!

I have had some issues with my health recently, that have brought us to our knees. Honestly, it's been a trying time, my heart has been heavy and my mind spinning. The week of the procedure (last week), God was pouring out peace over our household as we prepared for it on Thursday. I felt His Spirit resting over me...not that I was going into the procedure expecting a "clean bill" of health, God was actually preparing me to know it wouldn't be, but He was speaking the truth of His sovereignty and love and mercy over me. What a song that is! I can't say I kept that same peace after the procedure, the enemy brought fear into my heart and "my eyes were dim with grief." There was great concern from my doctor, with a desperate need to get things under control. I struggled....honestly I really longed for heaven. Jacob began to intercede for me, the Lord was using him to speak into my heart and encourage like no one else could. I am still in awe of God's perfect choice in a husband for me! I am amazed as I have watched my man grow in the Lord and be "kept in His perfect peace."

As I was laying in bed one night, the Lord reminded me of something......"increase your faith my child." I remembered the hemorrhaging woman's story.....for 12 years she had been bleeding, considered unclean, an outcast of society. Surely she was weak, probably severely anemic. She had spent all she had on doctors and was only worse, no cure was in sight. She must have been tired.....I can relate. She knew this man Jesus was in town, and taking the risk, she went out into the busy streets to find him. "If I can only touch His clothes, I will be healed." What a faith! Had she seen the Lord performing miracles, or just heard the rumors? It was all she had left. The greatest part is that crawling on the ground, she makes her way to Jesus and reaches for the edge of his robe and immediately the bleeding stops, and it says, "that she felt in her body, that she was healed." Jesus, even as a man, feels the supernatural power leave him, and looks around for who has touched him. Upon finding her, she trembles in fear, yet he calls her "daughter" and tells her that her FAITH has healed her and to "go in peace and be freed from her suffering."

As many people know that have suffered health issues with themselves or a family member, when you're sick.....you are forced to give up control and if you're a believer, all you're left with is your faith. God reminded me in that spot, that I have quit praying for healing, not because I believe our Lord's not capable, but because I believe it wasn't in His plan for me. It's been 15 years, I quit praying it years ago. Why? Why not, pray in faith for healing? Am I afraid I'll be disappointed if he doesn't? "Daughter, your faith has healed you." I need to live with that kind of faith...I am limiting God if I don't. God is big, he still heals people even today!! If he heals me, i will praise His name and if He doesn't I will still praise His name!

Oh come let us worship the King!

Welcome to Blog Land!

Time for my first blog ever! That's a lot of pressure. :)

I hope I can use this to share our lives with others, and grow as we ponder what God is doing in our lives, what he's teaching us, where he's leading us, etc. I'll start by giving updates of the last two months of being married:

It's been awesome, challenging, a blast! Most know that I got incredibly ill on our honeymoon. Come on! How mad was I?! How amazing was my husband! If there ever was a time for us to grow as one, it was then. Our vows never rang more true, as he picked me up off the floor and held me as I wept. He was actually sick the first couple of days, which allowed me to spend some amazing alone time with God and remember the blessing of our wedding day and all that the Lord did. I landed in the hospital our first night back (which was Saturday), Jacob didn't leave my side until 5am Monday morning when he left for work, and he was back to pick me up at 5:30 that evening. I had a lot of time to think, to process being angry, weeping, questioning God's motives in my circumstances. Through it all I learned that my husband would always be there, and that despite the guilt I felt for ruining his "perfect" honeymoon, he couldn't have loved me more as he battled with his own hurt for my circumstances. He stood by me, and "prayed without ceasing." I was challenged in his peace, to "seek peace and pursue it" myself.

Anyways, we're (more me) finally back to normal and enjoying life as married peeps. God is doing amazing work in both of us, and using each other to see what needs to look more like Him.

There's a lot of big decisions ahead, it feels so grown-up, sometimes I tell Jacob that I miss being young and carefree. It seems like life was easier when you just got up and went to school every day and your biggest decisions came in the lunch line. Jacob is working through his job situation currently, seeking God to know if he should leave and what he should do. We are praying about buying a house, where we should buy specifically and the logistics involved. We are praying about the future. It's a lot, but great things.

I recently started back with the band, I missed them a lot! I've been away since December, so I could focus on planning the wedding and my husband. It's been really hard, but necessary. Our church is about to step into a time of change, as we move into three venues each Sunday, while our sanctuary is being remodeled. It means three live bands, and lots of early Sundays. I am overjoyed and honored to serve. I feel like Satan would so love to get a foot in this, even in my own heart using any measure he can to distract from God's glory. I know that it will require much, and a constant denial of self or anything in me that desires anything less than Christ to do His perfect will. I am praying for the Lord to be honored above all else.

We're really enjoying this season of our lives, there are no "do-overs", so our prayer is that we really take each day captive and live it for Christ and eternity.