Streams in the Desert

This book came from my great aunt when I went off to college. Before Jacob and I moved back at the end of the year I had found it and put it next to the bed with my Bible. If you've ever read it, then you know how phenomenal it can be. If you haven't ever read it, then definitely add it to the wish list. It has so ministered to us these past months, God has used it to speak into our circumstances and we have been humbled, encouraged, challenged, and just wowed!

A little history on the book. The book was first published in 1925, by Mrs. Charles Cowman who was a missionary in Japan. She compiled a book full of quotes, scriptures, and inspirations that meant so much to her during her ministry. As you read you'll recognize names like Charles Spurgeon, Matthew Henry, and George Matheson along with a host of others who in their time had an incredible grasp on faith, salvation, suffering, etc. The book corresponds to the days of the year, so you can read one every day.

Jacob and I try and read one each night together and we are blown away by how the Lord speaks directly into our circumstances. I don't think there has been one reading that hasn't been incredibly applicable to our lives. I wanted to post one that really ministered to us a couple weeks ago on trials.

"Show me wherefore thou contedest with me." Job 10:2

"Perhaps, O tried soul, the Lord is doing this to develop thy graces. There are some of they graces which would never have been discovered if it was not for trials. Dost thou not know that thy faith never looks so grand in summer weather as it does in winter? Love is to oft like a glow-worm, showing but little light except it to be in the midst of surrounding darkness. Hope itself is like a star---not to be seen in the sunshine of prosperity, and only to be discovered in the night of adversity. Afflictions are often the black folds in which God doth set the jewels of His children's graces, to make them shine better.

It was but a little while ago that, on thy knees, thou wast saying, 'Lord, I fear I have no faith: let me know that I have faith.'

Was not this really, though perhaps unconsciously, praying for trials?----for how canst thou know that thou hast faith until thy faith is exercised? Depend upon it. God often sends us His trials that our graces may be discovered, and that we may be certified of their existence. Besides, it is not merely discovery; real growth in grace is the result of sanctified trials.

God trains His soldiers, not in tents of ease and luxury, but by turning them out and using them to forced marches and hard service. He makes them ford through streams, and swim through rivers and climb mountains, and walk many a weary mile with heavy knapsacks on their backs. Well, Christian, may not this account for the troubles through which you are passing? Is this not the reason why He is contending with you?" C.H Spurgeon

To be left unmolested by Satan is no evidence of blessing.

Be Encouraged!

Easter, what a weekend! Every year as I grow more and more in my faith, the message of Easter literally blows my mind. A loving God would send His only son to die on a cross for our sins, to suffer more than any person, but to RISE again on the third day! WOW! What a picture of love.

It was such an awesome time of rest for us, as well as Jacob's 29th birthday so we made it a good weekend. Thursday afternoon we met with a new doctor. I am pretty skeptical of doctors these days. In my 15 years of health problems, I have had my fair share of "poor practicing." We really prayed as we have sought a doctor for help, left another to see this guy. Can I just tell you that God blew us away! This man, who we found out while we were there is a believer, spent almost an hour with us in his office. That's just unheard of! He was thorough and he actually listened to us and didn't discredit all the research I had done, but completely agreed with me. Praise the Lord! All I can say! I left that appt. filled with even more hope and absolutely giddy! I was thanking the Lord as I drove from the medical center down the freeway towards home. I was so overwhelmed that all I could get out, over and over, was "thank you Lord, thank you!"

About three exits before I mine, I noticed an 18 wheeler. This is nothing out of the ordinary for Houston traffic. I can see as I get closer that there are words painted on the back of the cab. In all caps, here's what I read that took my breath away, "BE ENCOURAGED." Oh Lord, I am! I quickly and carefully snapped a picture with the phone, so I could remember this little gift.

"May our Lord Jesus Christ himself and God our Father, who loved us and by his grace gave us eternal encouragement and good hope, encourage your hearts and strengthen you in every good deed and word." 2 Thess 2:16

He's such an amazing God, who even today still sends us words of hope and encouragement. Friends, I encourage you today to not miss out on the Savior's voice. It's all around us, but we miss it because everything else in our lives is too loud. I am the worst offender. I can be so like Martha, who's doing everything BUT sitting at the feet of my Lord. Oh Lord, that I might be STILL and listen for you. He speaks through others, through His precious Word, in the stillness of a glorious day, and even on 18 wheelers. I am grateful.

Be encouraged.

Dear Baby Grace

Sweet Baby Grace,

Today is the day that you were due to arrive. I can't believe time has flown by so fast. We had much different ideas when we first learned about you. We thought we'd get to meet you, get to count your tiny fingers and toes, rock you to sleep, sing songs over you. I would have welcomed the nausea and the stretch marks and swollen feet, if only to hold you. We thought we'd have you here with us and begin a life as three. But Jesus had other plans, didn't He? I have cried many tears of pain and sorrow over your leaving. I have never felt such utter emptiness as I did when you left this place. I have felt angry at times and then I have felt despair and truly my tears had become my food. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about you, my sweet precious one. Not one day! I want you to know that I promised the Lord that I would wake up today and I would not mourn, no sweet girl, I promised Him that I would praise His name and am resolved to have joy!

God knit you together in me for a short time, and then welcomed you wholly into His arms! What a glorious thought! You were made whole in Him and new, pure as snow. You never felt pain or sorrow. I never had the chance to kiss a skinned knee or combat a high fever, although the Lord knows I would have. I don't have to protect you because you are with the Great Protector. You are a daughter of the Most High and today you stand in His presence. That thought alone makes me smile.

We named you Baby Grace because your short life and memory embodies God's abundant, unwavering grace over our family. He has since poured out His grace and mercy over your daddy and me as we look towards the future with great hope! Never in my entire life have I known more love and faithfulness from Him than I do now because of your tiny life. Even in your death, He was "working everything out for our good" because we deeply love Him. I didn't understand then, but I do now even these few months later. Because of what He took away, we have been given a deeper faith. Praise you Lord, that you do give and take away! I know that even when I can't see He still moves. He stirs my heart to song even when the depths of my soul ache with a misery unlike any I've ever known. He is here, He really never leaves us and He certainly hasn't forsaken your mommy. He reminds me to keep dancing when there are times that I want to sit this one out. We have learned that His plan is more invisible than His face and His ways and thoughts are higher than we can comprehend, and that's OK! He has brought your daddy and I closer than we have ever been, there are times when all we can do is ask Jesus for more grace, more peace, and a deeper faith. We pray everyday that we are bringing Him glory and if this is the road He's asked us to travel for now, we delight in Him and declare that we are His faithful servants! After all, if anyone understands our pain little sister, it's our Heavenly Father who gave up His Son to death. Sweet daughter, thank you for being used by the Lord to teach us so many life changing lessons.

Grace, I often wonder what you look like. Even in your glorified state, do you have my eyes and blonde locks and your daddy's nose and smile? Do you have an amazing sense of humor and a passion for others like the both of us? Do you sing to the Lord the songs He has placed in your heart? Do you have a deep, intimate love for people? Are you an encourager like me? I had a special word from the Lord a few weeks ago as I thought about you. He reminded me how much he loved you and how he made you like me in so many ways! I was moved to tears at that very thought. You are an arrow in His quiver my child. We will see you one day precious baby! I think of that sweet reunion often, and know the Lord will delight in it. More importantly, we can't wait to see Jesus face to face and worship Him with you for eternity.

Until then, Happy Birthday sweet Grace.

Love Always,


Mommy


I debated a long time over publishing this here. This has been a deep, intimate pain which has rocked me to the core and I still can't fully describe it without tears and Kleenex. However, as I prayed over this, I begin to think of all the ways God has already used our story to minister to others going through the same or similar circumstances. I also thought about how He has changed our lives tremendously over these past months, we have never loved and desired Him more. If my deepest desire is to bring Him glory in this storm because we certainly haven't put the umbrella away yet, then I can't keep silent. From the first post on this Blog, I have always sought to share my heart here. Not in some proud, self-righteous declaration but because if you know me, you know my heart. I am simply being me. I am no great saint or even a "super Christian" (far from both), I have really bad days where I feel myself looking over the edge of life and I am ready to give up. I feel like Job, but it's those pesky voices in my head that tell me to "curse God and die", not my friends or loved ones. Then there are days where I do "cast my burdens" and the load is lighter and I "soar on eagle's wings, I run and do not grow weary or faint". Those are the days that I feel just a little smoother in the Potter's hand.

So, as you read this today, wherever life finds you, I hope you see the depth of my love for my Creator BECAUSE, not in spite of our circumstances. Friends I pray for your seasons, seasons of heartache and trial, seasons of joy and blessing, that wherever your life is, you'll cling to the promises of God because He will come for you, comfort you, and make you new.

Deepest Blessings,

-Cristina