What's defines me? I've been asking myself this question a lot lately. More than that realizing what doesn't define me. All my life I thought I had this real grip on the gospel and all that it is.....but lately I am realizing just how little I've really understood it down to the depths of my soul. I love Jesus, love him so much and I really seek to glorify Him with my life. But, the gospel...the gospel has been changing me. As I've struggled with sin issues and really been asking God to help "kill" those things in me, something in my soul has shifted. I've gone from beating myself up over sin, to seeing my Lord step into the gap every time and remind me, "Child, I died for that." I am so affected by His great sacrifice....more than I ever have been in my 28 years. His perfect love, taking on the wrath of God....so that I might live in eternity. One day, all who believe in Christ will stand before the throne and hear "this one's mine." Can you even try to wrap your mind around that without tears streaming down your face? It's only by His sacrifice and not by my deeds or faith, or rather lack there of.
Isaiah 51:17 talks about the "cup of wrath" that God was giving to his own Son, referring to it as the "cup of staggering."
In his book "The Cross Centered Life", CJ Mahaney discusses the scene in the Garden of Gethsemane.
"Listen again to the precious and powerful words we hear Him repeat to His Father:
'Not my will, but your will.'
Jesus is saying, 'Father, I willingly drink this cup by your command---I'll drink it all.'
And He will. He'll drink all of it, leaving not a drop. Not only will He leave nothing in that cup of wrath for us to drink....but today you and I will find ourselves with another cup in our hands. It's the cup of salvation. From this precious new cup we find ourselves drinking and drinking--drinking consistently, drinking endlessly, drinking eternally...for the cup of salvation is always full and overflowing. We can drink from this cup only because Jesus spoke those words about the other cup: 'Yet not what I will, but what you will.'
I will drink it all."
Oh what love my friends. It is the cross which defines me, defines you. The gospel. It is Christ.
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Our Agency
I'm finally getting around to this post, and I am sorry for all my readers who have been '"waiting with baited breath." No, i am sure yall have been as busy as we have been. What is it about Spring that makes us run and schedule like crazy? Maybe because we were all hibernating this winter with the ridiculous cold!!
Back in March we drove to Ft. Worth to spend a day at the Gladney Center for Adoption. I wish we'd of known what we were in for. We were amazed! Gladney houses the birth moms on site, they have a beautiful facility with a gym, pool, house mom, commons with a full kitchen stocked with food, and beautiful rooms. They take such great care of these girls. We learned that the average age of these girls is early twenties. The care continues even after birth with their Next Steps Program, where the girls are helped with resumes, returning to school, and even funding for college if they so choose. They have lifetime counseling. The panel of birth moms was very eye-opening for both of us, it was nice to hear these girls talk about the process and support and the sacrifice they were making to better their child's life. I spent most of the day fighting back tears. Everyone with us had the same story, couldn't have children, and believed this was the next step for them.
We talked and planned and dreamed the whole way home. It was definitely confirmation of God's plan for us. It was neat seeing Jacob so excited about what the future holds for us. We're still in the midst of our paperwork, but making great headway. We hope to have it completed and the homestudy started within the next month.
I've been praying about God's will and asking for him to continue to lead us down His perfect path for our lives. I've seen such a change in my attitude already, I am growing so much as he removes things in me that don't look like him. It's SO hard, but so GOOD! I know opposition could come in this call to adopt.....even within our own hearts in the form of doubting that he will provide....but we are holding fast to truth. Being called to most anything always requires self-sacrifice and then comes great change in perspective. Less about us, more about Him.
The year anniversary of Grace's birthday, came and went......happened to be the day we celebrated Jacob's 30th birthday. I miss that sweet baby girl, but am thankful for the "call" on my life to go on without her and trust that this "work He's began in me, he will be faithful to complete." One day.....I'll know fully.
We picked out a lovely sage green to paint the nursery and will be starting that process slowly. We are also taking a much needed babymoon since we know we could very well have a baby within the next year (WOW!) and will also be broke for the rest of our lives! :) No, but we planned our trip to Maui in a month. Oh wow, are we excited! I cannot wait to just relax and soak up the sun and see an incredible place that I've always dreamed of seeing....even better with the love of my life!
Back in March we drove to Ft. Worth to spend a day at the Gladney Center for Adoption. I wish we'd of known what we were in for. We were amazed! Gladney houses the birth moms on site, they have a beautiful facility with a gym, pool, house mom, commons with a full kitchen stocked with food, and beautiful rooms. They take such great care of these girls. We learned that the average age of these girls is early twenties. The care continues even after birth with their Next Steps Program, where the girls are helped with resumes, returning to school, and even funding for college if they so choose. They have lifetime counseling. The panel of birth moms was very eye-opening for both of us, it was nice to hear these girls talk about the process and support and the sacrifice they were making to better their child's life. I spent most of the day fighting back tears. Everyone with us had the same story, couldn't have children, and believed this was the next step for them.
We talked and planned and dreamed the whole way home. It was definitely confirmation of God's plan for us. It was neat seeing Jacob so excited about what the future holds for us. We're still in the midst of our paperwork, but making great headway. We hope to have it completed and the homestudy started within the next month.
I've been praying about God's will and asking for him to continue to lead us down His perfect path for our lives. I've seen such a change in my attitude already, I am growing so much as he removes things in me that don't look like him. It's SO hard, but so GOOD! I know opposition could come in this call to adopt.....even within our own hearts in the form of doubting that he will provide....but we are holding fast to truth. Being called to most anything always requires self-sacrifice and then comes great change in perspective. Less about us, more about Him.
The year anniversary of Grace's birthday, came and went......happened to be the day we celebrated Jacob's 30th birthday. I miss that sweet baby girl, but am thankful for the "call" on my life to go on without her and trust that this "work He's began in me, he will be faithful to complete." One day.....I'll know fully.
We picked out a lovely sage green to paint the nursery and will be starting that process slowly. We are also taking a much needed babymoon since we know we could very well have a baby within the next year (WOW!) and will also be broke for the rest of our lives! :) No, but we planned our trip to Maui in a month. Oh wow, are we excited! I cannot wait to just relax and soak up the sun and see an incredible place that I've always dreamed of seeing....even better with the love of my life!
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
Paperwork Smaperwork
Well, we feel in love with our agency. The orientation was awesome. And I mean awesome. God is good and I will have to put it all in another very long post.
But for now, we are buried in paperwork. It's been my status on GMail for the last two weeks and it's true. Between setting an appointment to get FBI fingerprinted and writing our autobiographies, we've been working and going to school as well. I promise.
My dear friend reminded me after everything we've been through, this is easy. She's right. We're pumped.
God is good.....back to work.
But for now, we are buried in paperwork. It's been my status on GMail for the last two weeks and it's true. Between setting an appointment to get FBI fingerprinted and writing our autobiographies, we've been working and going to school as well. I promise.
My dear friend reminded me after everything we've been through, this is easy. She's right. We're pumped.
God is good.....back to work.
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