One More Week!

I can't believe I am writing this...this time next weekend Jacob will be done traveling!! What a cause for celebration. Party at our place....just kidding! Friends, it's been a long, lonely Spring/Summer/first month of Fall. Jacob has been traveling every weekend since the end of March. I spend my weeks without him, just me and the pups. Thank goodness for them!

We are SO ready, so thrilled that this is the end! I can't even describe how ready I am. Of course with the end comes prayers for what's next. We are praying that his company keeps him here through the end of the year. We are praying for the plans God has next. If Jacob is sent off on another out of town project, we are trusting God, acting in faith, and he is resigning. That's scary given this economic climate, but we do feel like He's preparing the way for something bigger, already in the works. I can share all of this in a few weeks when we feel like we're at a final decision. We've asked God to BOLDLY show us His plan, and He's definitely giving us that blessing thus far. He's always been faithful, so who would we be to doubt His plan or path?

"Commit your way to the Lord, trust in him and he will act." Psalm 37:5

We trust Him for our future. It's really easy for me to be afraid, I don't do well with change. Let me rephrase....I am terrible with change! This is coming from the woman who multi-tasks in the shower everyday....the same routine. Sick, isn't it? I feel like even in walking down His path, I still need to "gather the necessities" as if God doesn't provide everything we need. In fact, everything we have is his. I am begging him to help me relinquish that need to be in some false sense of control. Because, let me tell you, we are not in control and I know that...but I think I claim to know it, yet don't really believe it deep within my soul. I want to be a woman who sits back and says, "today, Lord is yours and I won't stress, I won't fret, I won't worry......I'll just live for you and seek to glorify you in all I do." Wow, am I thankful that he is full of grace because lately I feel like I need a lot of grace.

We continue to pray for our family, my body is finally normal again. It took a while for hormones to readjust. Another praise! God has purpose even in that. We trust Him and deep in our hearts believe he is going to give us a family.

We are excited to be together again, as husbands and wives should be. Yet, we don't doubt that God had great purpose in our being apart these past months. He's done amazing things as we've had to seek him for everything, as distance kept us from relying on each other. In my loneliness specifically this past week, he's been here with me revealing himself and really encouraging my heart.

So please keep us in your continued prayers, as changes are ahead for the Martins, but as they often are, changes that will surely be great blessings.


-C

This Song Blows Me Away

If you've never listened to Kari Jobe, then you need to go and download her album right now!!

I've been listening to the song, You Are For Me by her for the last two days and let me tell ya, that song is anointed! I wept the first time I heard it. I needed those words to permeate my soul.
Here it is:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7tCXObtC_fk&feature=PlayList&p=FD8F64DB50F21234&playnext=1&playnext_from=PL&index=45

What's for Dinner at the Martin's??

Ah, the beginnings of Fall, leaves falling, cooler weather, winter squash, and COLLEGE FOOTBALL! Well, it's game day at our house. Of course, we're watching the T-sips, but I do love my husband and will allow him to watch his team in peace and with a full belly.

I made him a delicious, protein-packed game day dinner, here was the menu:

Black Soybean Succotash
Wild Rice Pesto
Gingered-Glazed Acorn Squash
Garlicky Collard Greens
Red Radish Pickles
Apples with Almond Cream

After 1 1/2 hours in the kitchen, we sat down (thank you Tivo) for this delicious meal. Let's just say, Jacob's plate was sparking clean! I so love feeding him after he's been traveling all week, especially a healthy, whole meal. I thought I would share the recipes of our top two favorites from the meal tonight.

Black Bean Succotash-from Glow by Christina Pirello

1 cup of black soybeans, rinsed well, towel-dried (I have to order these, let me know if you can find them in Houston)
1 inch piece of Kombu (seaweed isle at Whole Foods, this is amazing stuff, aka Nature's Beano, works to help the digestibility of the beans)
3 cups spring water
2 T of EVOO (extra virgin olive oil)
1 yellow onion diced
Soy Sauce
1 t mirin (rice wine also at WF)
2 cups fresh or frozen corn kernels
1 cup plain soymilk
3 to 4 T of fresh chives, finely minced

Heat a dry skillet over med heat and pan toast the soybeans. They will wrinkle and split open, revealing a white line down the middle of the bean. When about 80% are split and the smell is fragrant, transfer to a pressure cooker with kombu. Add water, bring to a boil and boil uncovered for 5 min. Seal the pressure cooker, bring to full pressure, reduce heat to low and cook for 45 min. Remove from heat and allow pressure to decrease naturally.

Meanwhile, add the oil and onion and saute over med heat. When onion begins to sizzle, add a dash of soy sauce until limp, about 2 min. Stir in mirin, corn, and soy milk, season lightly with soy sauce, reduce heat to low, and simmer for about 5-7 min, until slightly thickened. Add the beans and cook for another 2 min to blend the flavors. Remove from heat and stir in the chives.

Black soybeans are used to restore reproductive health, esp great for PMS, as well as cooling and relaxing the body.

Ginger-Glazed Acorn Squash-from Cooking the Whole Foods Way by Christina Pirello

2 acorn squash, halved lengthwise and seeds removed
Spring Water
3 T Safflower oil
3 T brown rice syrup
2 t of powdered ginger
Dash of nutmeg
Dash of cinnamon
Sea salt
5 T of fruit-sweetened apricot preserves

Preheat oven to 350F. Lightly oil a baking dish and place squash halves cut side down in dish, add a little water and bake for 20 min. Whisk together oil, rice syrup, spices, and preserves. Remove squash from oven and turn up. Brush insides with syrup and spoon the rest in the hollow. Cover loosely with foil and return to oven. Bake until tender about 35 min. Serve hot.

These are incredible, delicious and as sweet as any dessert! Acorn squash have quickly stolen my heart as the tastiest and most versatile squash. One of the many reasons I love Fall.

Happy, healthy, and whole eating to you!

Normal Female, Normal Male!!

"Give thanks to the Lord of hosts, for the Lord is good, for his steadfast love endures forever." Jer 33:11

This news deserved a post of it's own. We received our test results from the geneticist and neither of us have any genetic issues!! Praise the Lord! This has been a huge burden lifted off of our shoulders and now we can continue to move forward in hopes of the great blessing of a baby. We did learn that I am heterozygous for a clotting condition called MTHFR, but so are 40% of Caucasian women. I met with our fertility doc on Tuesday and he said it's nothing to worry about. He's going to put me on high dose folate because this specific factor can rob the body of folate, as well as baby aspirin through my first trimester. Of course, I will be using Nattokinase, which is an enzyme that enhances the body's ability to fight blood clots, thus accomplishing the same purpose as a baby aspirin.

So, we continue to trust in God's plan for our lives and hold onto truth. I have been reading/studying Jeremiah lately, specifically the Lord's promise for restoration of Israel and His people:

"I will rejoice in doing them good, and I will plant them in this land in faithfulness, with all my heart and my soul. For thus says the Lord: Just as I have brought all of this great disaster upon this people, so I will bring upon them all the good that I promise them." 32:41-43

"And this city shall be to me a name of joy, a praise and a glory before all the nations of the earth who shall hear of all the good that I do to them." 33:9

He's been really good to us, we are so blessed. So many of you have sent messages of great encouragement to me, and I just want you to know the blessing you have been to the both of us and how the Lord has used your words to confirm what He's doing in us and through us. Thank you from the bottom of my heart! Thank you for praying, we ask for continued prayer for wisdom, steadfastness, and peace. I believe in my heart that good things are coming, this has been a season, but a season that I am so grateful for.

-Cristina

Trip to TN

Well, obviously I am back. Been back for a few weeks now, but we moved the following week and then headed to Austin for a wedding over the holiday weekend. I am just now catching up.
Tennessee was wonderful! I had the best time getting to see my dear friend. I am so proud of her as she ventures into her own business and is working in Spain for an amazing wellness clinic! I am jealous, she has the most amazing view in the world to wake up to everyday! We caught up over tea and I started unwinding right away. She has the best back porch in the world, beautiful trees and the weather was perfect! The season is changing so every time the wind would blow, the leaves would flutter to the ground.

On arrival I met one of Ginny's clients who I had been super excited to meet. She is a young girl, 10 years old, who was diagnosed with Crohn's and at the peak of her illness was in the hospital for six weeks with doctors threatening to remove her entire colon! She has worked with Ginny and made remarkable progress in only months. It was great to meet her and her family, they are incredibly precious people. While I was there, Ginny hosted a cooking class for 18 people. Her sister, mother, and I assisted with the class and I actually got to share my testimony of healing with all of these people. The four moms that were there with their four young daughters amaze me! If you all read my Blog, please know how much you blessed me seeing your heart-and-soul dedication to your girls to help them become healthy again. Your faith and hearts made me so thankful for my own family who sacrificed so much for me to be healthy. It was very emotional for me to hear your hearts poured out, I thanked God again for bringing me to Ginny. We did a support group for all of these ladies and it was amazing to watch Ginny in action, helping them, encouraging them, and supporting the wonderful progress that's already been made with their girls.

I ate so well, had some great therapies done (shiatsu, reiki, infrared sauna, and foot baths), spent some amazing time outside, read, journaled, listened to worship music. Ginny also took me to a church function Friday night, in which I was "forced" to square dance. I have to admit, it was pretty fun! It all was exactly what I needed. I felt like a new woman when I got back.

We are praying about my next step into holistic and natural medicine. It's exciting to see how God is using this in our lives to help encourage others in their own health. I am already working with Ginny as her client coach, working with clients for a month after they begin the program. I have such a heart to help others who are struggling with illness. I know God has put that passion in my heart and it will be exciting to see exactly where He takes me.

Restoration

I leave Thursday morning for Tennessee to see my dear friend and macrobiotic counselor, Ginny Harper. The last time I saw her, June 2008, I was very ill and the Lord brought her into my life in His perfect timing and used her skills and care to help me turn my health around. We've never been the same. I am really excited to see her and spend some time picking her brain as I further my studies in naturopathic and holistic health and healing. I also need to make some adjustments in my own health and know she will have plenty of advice. I also get a break from cooking, well....I have to be in the kitchen with her because I soak up everything she says and am hoping for some new tricks, but I will definitely eat well. The greater purpose of this trip is for my soul. I need some restoration, some physical and emotional healing, and just some time alone with the Lord......away from the "noise". I know He has great plans, as I prepare my heart to meet with Him in the beautiful scenery and hills of Franklin. It's been quite a road these past months, and I know that purposeful, restorative time is necessary and an absolute gift from God. My heart longs to be still and quiet before the Lord. I have found that through all of the circumstances surrounding us lately, I have been unable to truly sit in His presence and "dine" at His table and listen for His voice. The voice of the Most High, who still speaks.....if we will only listen.

"In returning and rest you shall be saved; in quietness and trust shall be your strength." Isaiah 30:15

It excites me to think about what He has for me the five days I am away. I believe I will truly see that "His mercies are new every morning." I believe He will restore my health fully, giving me incredible energy, a renewed mind, and clarity. I know he will sustain me and comfort me, allowing a great healing in my heart. There are some things I know I need to work through and let Him reveal to me in His gentle way. There are some places of hurt that His healing hands need to touch, not without a few tears. Friends, I am so ecstatic about this break. Please lift us up in your prayers when you think about it. Pray for Jacob and I as we are apart for 10 days, time of rejuvenation for him as well as he stays in Chicago. Pray for my poor in-laws who get stuck with the pups. Pray for rain......His soul-quenching showers of love, affection, and peace as we offer ourselves, broken and tired, in need of the Master's touch.


I can't wait to share what God does!

The Nitty Gritty

I feel like so much of the last post was details, details. Well, it was about six weeks crammed into one post. Although, much has happened even since I wrote the last post. I am sure you are all wondering how I am really doing, and I hope you see my honesty and transparency....not just a woman hurting, but one who loves the Lord even more than I did only months ago. One of my greater hopes is that you don't feel sorry for us, and if we are "real-life" friends, don't feel like you have to "walk on pins and needles". The Bible calls us to "mourn with those who mourn and weep with those who weep" and so many of you have done just that. THANK YOU! Now, my heart is focusing on having joy,"rejoice, again I say rejoice." I am also not here to tie bright-colored ribbons around packages of tragedy. This has been really tough. I remind myself everyday, more than once, that God is still on the throne despite my feebleness and wandering heart. He's so generous and gracious to me, meeting my frustrations and rough days with peace and mercy. It seems like he sends encouragement in perfect timing, a call from one of my friends, a sweet blessing, or just incredible grace. Jacob has his share of heartache and struggles, as he can't be here and fufill that need as a man to care for me as he thinks best. Plus, we're still grieving this loss. Not only this loss, but the year anniversary of the loss of Grace came on August 7th.


First of all, we did get our lab results back from the geneticist. I've known even since the last post, but wasn't ready to share quite yet. I needed time to grieve, digest, muster joy. We lost twins. It was such hard news to bear, it broke my heart yet again knowing we lost two precious babies. We only have ultrasound pics of one baby, so they believe that we lost the other before six weeks. That was our little girl who we named Anna, a name which means "grace" or "favor." The baby that we saw on the ultrasound throughout the 10 1/2 weeks was our little boy, who we named Andrew, which means "warrior". It seemed only fitting since he fought his hardest to live. We decided to name the babies because we know they are real people with personalities and physical attributes. When we get to heaven one day, we will meet them and worship our Creator together. Anna was a chromosomally normal baby and Andrew had Trisomy 14. Trisomy 14 means he had an extra 14th chromosome. There are many trisomal disorders, the most common being Down's Syndrome, which is Trisomy 21. However, unlike babies born with Down's who can survive even with physical disabilities, our son would have been born with severe disabilities. He would not have survived and there would have been incredible complications. Once I learned what the outcome would have been I felt such a peace and thanked the Lord for bringing him into eternity in His perfect time. We also learned that because he wasn't going to survive, that's why we lost Anna as well. We met with our fertility doctor, who has told us that most babies with this trisomy end up being 25-30 week losses, and he was so thankful that this baby boy went to be with the Lord sooner rather than later. He referred us to the same geneticist for a complete work-up on us both since we've had multiple losses. That meeting went better than I could have ever imagined and I had the most gracious man who was incredibly sensitive to our situation. We are currently waiting on those results, knowing they will help us move towards the next step. The Lord blessed us in all of this testing because it is completely covered by insurance! Honestly, not something we were expecting as we were planning on thousands of dollars towards this effort. We felt like the testing was important in our decision to continue trying. If this is to keep happening, then we would move towards adoption. Yes, we trust the Lord could do anything no matter the diagnosis, but the gaining of this information could very well be the Holy Spirit moving our hearts a different path, to something incredible.


Our situation is very difficult right now with Jacob still traveling through October. We're trying to move in the next few weeks and we're praying about his job situation and our future. I am already planning to cut back in hours in six months and take a good sized pay cut, but we feel this is something that God has ordained and asked us to trust Him in. Some days, I find myself in deep despair and others "crazy-lady" laughing. Yet there are some where I look to heaven and in my heart honestly say, "You give and take away, blessed be your name." He only took what he first gave. I've been angry and at times bitter, only to be broken and poured out again. I told our small group that Jacob and I want so badly to suffer well. We don't want to waste what God is procuring in our hearts and in our faith. If he never uses this for any other reason than to grow us immensely, then praise the Lord! I feel so fleshly at times, struggling with envy and bitterness, resentment, a whole list of ugliness. The Lord has pressed us to the fire, but he's pressing for greatness, he's pressing for His glory. Press on! So we cling to truth, as though it's all we have and letting go would mean sinking into the abyss. Great trials bring great promises.


"Trust in Him at all times" Psalm 62:8
"Trust in the shadow of His wings" Psalm 91:4
"My presence will go with you and I will give you rest." Exodus 33:14
"Fear not for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, yes, I will help you, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand." Isiah 41:10
"The Lord lifts up his countenance upon you and gives you peace." Numbers 6:26
"Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest." Matthew 11:28


There are many, many other verses of precious promise. It's so easy to forget in trials the times of great blessing, or missing the "forest for the trees" in the trial itself. We have our lives, each other, and our God. We have had great suffering, but a marriage full of love based on Christ....that God has tested and proven that it can stand life's storms. We have beautiful, perfect children in heaven with Christ. They are full of life and healthy and full of joy worshipping the One who knew them by name before they were. I am a mother and Jacob is a father, a title given to us even though we didn't get hold these babies in our arms. Dear friends, I've so often come to the end of my rope...there meeting the One who never fails, never changes, and loves me with a deep, unrelenting love. He pursues my heart, offering peace that only he can offer.


So we press on.....believing that this is only a season. Even if the darkness doesn't lift for a long time, we are resolved to joy. I can have tough days, but as long as I grasp for joy this won't be in vain. Love is reaching in and picking me back up to set my heart to dance again.