Reflections of 2009

Another year has come and has gone. Isn't it every year that we evaluate on this day, who we are, where we've come, and what we long to be. It has been an emotional morning for me as I awoke and reflected. I just happened to watch the "year in review" on prime time and am amazed at all the major events that happened in 2009. Some great and noble, some clouded in scandal, and mostly sadness. I am reminded of a fallen world, so in need of a redeeming Savior. My heart was overwhelmed as I was reminded of the suffering economy and those without jobs and relying on welfare to survive. I have much to be thankful for and am so, so blessed.

A year ago today, I lost my sweet grandmother. I told Jacob yesterday how I couldn't believe that it's been a year. How I miss her! Yet, I know where she is and am comforted by the very Presence that she dwells with this very second.

Christmas was really difficult for me this year. I don't mean to be Debbie Downer, so hang with me here because it will get better, I promise! As much as I prayed to turn my focus on what Christmas really means, I felt truly sad in my heart. I couldn't help but feel the weight of my empty arms and empty belly. As the twins would-be due date gets closer and closer, I am filled with sorrow. I battled my flesh to the point of emotional exhaustion. Do I trust the Lord? Yes! Do I believe he is for me? Absolutely. Then "why so downcast, oh my soul?" I can't even put it into words, I feel incomplete sometimes, like a piece of the puzzle is missing. I'll be honest enough and say that these last couple months have been extremely difficult with all the change, the stress of work, and my body not working. I've been distant, I've let the enemy distract and torture me with his lies. I imagine every women who battles with loss or infertility gets to this place at some point in their journey. It's a lonely, lonely place. To my sisters who walk this road, I pray for you. Trust in the Almighty, he has not abandoned you. Nor has he abandoned me. He is with me, he has gone before me.

Here we are, in a new place....with new visions and places and people. I know God has great purpose for us here, for me, for Jacob...with who he has designed for us to meet and where he has hand-picked for us to minister and to serve. Our purpose is to glorify his name in all we do. It's a new day.

"Remember not the former things, nor consider the things of old. Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it?" Isaiah 43:18-19

I am believing God for who he is this year. I am setting my heart to have a deeper faith, the kind that steps when there is no step and believes God to make one. Oh Lord, please continue to enlarge my faith! I long to be a woman that prays more and speaks less. Lord, give me eyes to see and ears to hear! I pray that I can love others deeply with the love of Christ. I have so much more to learn and miles to go. I am thankful for a new year that can be an incredible year.

So, yeah 2010! Here come the Martins! I hope you are ready for us.

I Promise We're Alive!

Hey friends...we're still here! It's been a crazy-busy last month. Here we are today, less than two weeks from moving to Austin and we haven't lifted a finger to pack! Let me start with updates on all the news since the last post:

-Jacob was laid off from his job. He turned down a project in Detroit, funny since he had just left there. We had hoped that he'd work right up until school, but God had other plans. He was given a severance package, so the Lord totally provided. It's really been a blessing, as he's been able to really help me around the house and with the dogs.

-We found an amazing house in Austin! We're so excited about the home God has blessed us with. It has three bedrooms and a beautiful study for me. It has a big open kitchen with gas, a real fireplace in the living room(I can't wait to build a fire), and no carpet in the whole place. It has a beautiful backyard with a built-up deck, perfect for entertaining. The outside is the traditional Austin off-white stone with some great trees in the front yard. I can't wait to share pictures of it.

-We had a wonderful Thanksgiving celebration with the Martins. My mother-in-law prepared a lovely meal and I made desserts. Only the Ags beating TU would have made it better.

-We celebrated our last small group and had a holiday potluck with our precious friends who we will miss dearly. Our last Sunday at our church is next week and it's so bittersweet. God has done amazing works in our lives there, there are some incredible memories there that I will cherish in my heart. I pray that if we come back to Houston, God brings us back "home."

-I took a hunting trip with my dad last weekend and it was such a sweet time. My husband was gracious to let me go for the weekend.

-The Lord is renewing my heart and giving me such peace in this time of BIG transition.

-God is also moving our hearts towards adoption, not that we are still not trying, praying, and hoping for children of our own, but we believe in adoption and that incredible blessings are coming however and whenever the Lord chooses.

I promise more pics and more updates soon! Blessings!

Greater Things Are Yet To Come

We trust God in everything, He's been the way-maker for us. He has his hand in every step of this path we've been journeying down and it's incredibly evident to us. The past months we've been praying about Jacob's job and making a BIG change. My husband has been unhappy in this job since we met. We're tired of being away from each other and realize it's not ever going to be the life we can best serve the Lord with. This has been such a hard season, and God has really taught my man some amazing lessons. He has humbled Jacob deeply and I've watched God do a mighty work in his heart. Even though it was at times hard to witness, I praise God for teaching him patience, contentment, and quiet trust. The harder part was that he didn't really know what he was going to do next. He prayed about his passions, met with men who encouraged him and helped him to trust in God's perfect timing. He waited on the Lord, even though his soul was aching and all he wanted was to be here with me, especially as we suffered with our losses. The Lord led him one day to think about a path that really excited him. Let me digress for those that don't know him personally. My husband is a dreamer, he often comes up with these crazy ideas about where we should go or what we should do. Somedays it's buying a ranch and other times moving to California. It's hard for this type A, color-between-the-lines girl. I didn't know how it would shake out, if it would be another "pipe dream." I think I'm learning that part of being "one" is seeing life through each other's eyes, daring each other to dream big in God's plan, even if that means we step outside of our own wants and desires and "fairy-tale" dreams.

So we went from looking at houses to buy, to researching schools and programs. We moved into an apartment back in the city short-term and asked God to be God and prayed hard. He applied back to UT where he received his business undergrad and specifically applied for the Petroleum Engineering program. During this interim, we both felt strongly that this would be the "next step." I was terrified. I had such a peace about going and Jacob going back to school.....but I let the minor, minute details send me pacing. I really had to let a lot of my selfish desires go. My desire to settle in a home...the "white picket fence" dream. My desire to stop working. My desire to be here in Houston, where it's comfortable...we have our families 30 minutes away, our friends, our incredible church where I've been for the last six years, work just around the corner. "Everyone else gets to do that, why not me?" Ugliness. I really struggle with comparing myself to other people, probably one of my greatest struggles. I have this idea in my head of where we should be and what we should be doing. I'm 28 for crying out loud.....my life is almost over!! I'm about to be on the upswing to 50 and I have fine-lines forming and bones that creak! I'm only joking, but seriously.

I've had a lot of time to reflect, we've been married 1 yr and nine months and I've noticed a recurring theme. God isn't letting us be comfortable. He's just not. That doesn't make him mean, that makes him God. He's got a work to do in us, and he knows comfortable is complacency. That's a hard truth for me. Does this mean Jacob and I are always going to be going through trials the rest of out lives? No, but it means that he does have something planned for us, something he's doing in us, so he can then do something through us. Do I wish it was different? No. Maybe. Every once in a while(enter smiley face emoticon here). I do know that he knows best and so I climb back up on the Potter's wheel, because I still have quite a few rough edges.

Well, God is good. Jacob has been accepted into the Petroleum Engineering program at UT and we're moving to Austin in less than two months. Yikes. It is hard, I am very excited and sad too. There is much here that even two and a half hours of distance will change. Yet, we know that God isn't "sending us out" just for Jacob to go back to school and get a degree, but because he has purpose for our lives in Austin. Great purpose, I believe. Lots and lots of prayers for us as we iron out all the details, living situation, me working remotely, moving, financial aid for tuition.

"Remember how the Lord your God led you all the way in the desert these 40 years, to humble you and to test you in order to know what was in your heart. He humbled you, causing you to hunger and then feeding you with manna, which neither you or your fathers had known, to teach you that man does not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of the Lord. For the Lord God is bringing you into a good land----a land with streams and pools of water, with springs flowing in the valleys and hills; a land with wheat and barley, vines and fig trees, pomegranates, olive oil and honey, a land where bread will not be scare and you will lack nothing." Deut 8:2-3; 7-9

Can you imagine the Israelites excitement as they are waiting to cross into the promised land? The land of promises fulfilled and blessings abundant. I can close my eyes and just imagine. Now, we know the "land of the Longhorns" isn't the "promised land", but I believe for the Martins it will be a "good land."

Yummy Good-for-You Carrot Cake!

I made this recipe for my sweet friend Becky Kiser last week after we got our tail ends kicked at a yoga class. It's not too difficult and makes the house smell amazing! The recipe uses barley malt and brown rice syrup....my two sweeteners of choice. They are mostly complex carbs and not simple sugars as is refined white sugar, so they are released into the blood slower, providing fuel for the body instead of creating the ups and downs we experience when we eat simple sugars.

Gingered Carrot Cake with Orange Carmel Glaze

Cake:

1 cup of pecan pieces

3 cups of whole wheat pastry flour

1 T of baking powder

1/4 t of sea salt

1 t of powdered ginger

1 t of ground cinnamon

2 1/2 cups of grated carrots

1/2 cup of unsweetened apple sauce

1/2 cup of light olive oil

1/2 brown rice syrup

1 t of pure vanilla extract

1/2 to 2/3 cup of Eden brand Rice and Soy blend or vanilla soy milk

Preheat oven to 275 and spread pecans on a baking sheet. Bake about 15 minutes, or until fragrant. Cool and coarsely dice. Set aside. Lightly oil and flour a 10inch bundt pan. Increase oven to 325.

Combine flour, baking powder, salt, and spices in a mixing bowl. Whisk briskly. Stir in carrots, applesauce, oil, syrup, and vanilla. Slowly add Rice & Soy blend to make thick, spoonable batter. Fold in pecans. Spoon into the prepared pan.

Bake 45 to 50 minutes, or until the center springs back to the touch or an inserted tooth pick comes out clean. Allow the cake to cool in pan for 10 minutes before inverting onto a serving platter. Cool completely before glazing.

Glaze:

1/4 cup of Eden Rice and Soy Blend or vanilla soy milk.

1/2 cup of brown rice syrup

2 T of barley malt

Grated zest of one orange

Orange slices for garnish

Combine all ingredients in a saucepan and cook over medium heat until mixture foams. Reduce heat to low and cook until mixture reduces and thickens, 5 to 7 minutes. Immediately spoon over cake, repeating glaze for several coats until it's used up. Garnish with orange slices and serve.

One More Week!

I can't believe I am writing this...this time next weekend Jacob will be done traveling!! What a cause for celebration. Party at our place....just kidding! Friends, it's been a long, lonely Spring/Summer/first month of Fall. Jacob has been traveling every weekend since the end of March. I spend my weeks without him, just me and the pups. Thank goodness for them!

We are SO ready, so thrilled that this is the end! I can't even describe how ready I am. Of course with the end comes prayers for what's next. We are praying that his company keeps him here through the end of the year. We are praying for the plans God has next. If Jacob is sent off on another out of town project, we are trusting God, acting in faith, and he is resigning. That's scary given this economic climate, but we do feel like He's preparing the way for something bigger, already in the works. I can share all of this in a few weeks when we feel like we're at a final decision. We've asked God to BOLDLY show us His plan, and He's definitely giving us that blessing thus far. He's always been faithful, so who would we be to doubt His plan or path?

"Commit your way to the Lord, trust in him and he will act." Psalm 37:5

We trust Him for our future. It's really easy for me to be afraid, I don't do well with change. Let me rephrase....I am terrible with change! This is coming from the woman who multi-tasks in the shower everyday....the same routine. Sick, isn't it? I feel like even in walking down His path, I still need to "gather the necessities" as if God doesn't provide everything we need. In fact, everything we have is his. I am begging him to help me relinquish that need to be in some false sense of control. Because, let me tell you, we are not in control and I know that...but I think I claim to know it, yet don't really believe it deep within my soul. I want to be a woman who sits back and says, "today, Lord is yours and I won't stress, I won't fret, I won't worry......I'll just live for you and seek to glorify you in all I do." Wow, am I thankful that he is full of grace because lately I feel like I need a lot of grace.

We continue to pray for our family, my body is finally normal again. It took a while for hormones to readjust. Another praise! God has purpose even in that. We trust Him and deep in our hearts believe he is going to give us a family.

We are excited to be together again, as husbands and wives should be. Yet, we don't doubt that God had great purpose in our being apart these past months. He's done amazing things as we've had to seek him for everything, as distance kept us from relying on each other. In my loneliness specifically this past week, he's been here with me revealing himself and really encouraging my heart.

So please keep us in your continued prayers, as changes are ahead for the Martins, but as they often are, changes that will surely be great blessings.


-C

This Song Blows Me Away

If you've never listened to Kari Jobe, then you need to go and download her album right now!!

I've been listening to the song, You Are For Me by her for the last two days and let me tell ya, that song is anointed! I wept the first time I heard it. I needed those words to permeate my soul.
Here it is:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7tCXObtC_fk&feature=PlayList&p=FD8F64DB50F21234&playnext=1&playnext_from=PL&index=45

What's for Dinner at the Martin's??

Ah, the beginnings of Fall, leaves falling, cooler weather, winter squash, and COLLEGE FOOTBALL! Well, it's game day at our house. Of course, we're watching the T-sips, but I do love my husband and will allow him to watch his team in peace and with a full belly.

I made him a delicious, protein-packed game day dinner, here was the menu:

Black Soybean Succotash
Wild Rice Pesto
Gingered-Glazed Acorn Squash
Garlicky Collard Greens
Red Radish Pickles
Apples with Almond Cream

After 1 1/2 hours in the kitchen, we sat down (thank you Tivo) for this delicious meal. Let's just say, Jacob's plate was sparking clean! I so love feeding him after he's been traveling all week, especially a healthy, whole meal. I thought I would share the recipes of our top two favorites from the meal tonight.

Black Bean Succotash-from Glow by Christina Pirello

1 cup of black soybeans, rinsed well, towel-dried (I have to order these, let me know if you can find them in Houston)
1 inch piece of Kombu (seaweed isle at Whole Foods, this is amazing stuff, aka Nature's Beano, works to help the digestibility of the beans)
3 cups spring water
2 T of EVOO (extra virgin olive oil)
1 yellow onion diced
Soy Sauce
1 t mirin (rice wine also at WF)
2 cups fresh or frozen corn kernels
1 cup plain soymilk
3 to 4 T of fresh chives, finely minced

Heat a dry skillet over med heat and pan toast the soybeans. They will wrinkle and split open, revealing a white line down the middle of the bean. When about 80% are split and the smell is fragrant, transfer to a pressure cooker with kombu. Add water, bring to a boil and boil uncovered for 5 min. Seal the pressure cooker, bring to full pressure, reduce heat to low and cook for 45 min. Remove from heat and allow pressure to decrease naturally.

Meanwhile, add the oil and onion and saute over med heat. When onion begins to sizzle, add a dash of soy sauce until limp, about 2 min. Stir in mirin, corn, and soy milk, season lightly with soy sauce, reduce heat to low, and simmer for about 5-7 min, until slightly thickened. Add the beans and cook for another 2 min to blend the flavors. Remove from heat and stir in the chives.

Black soybeans are used to restore reproductive health, esp great for PMS, as well as cooling and relaxing the body.

Ginger-Glazed Acorn Squash-from Cooking the Whole Foods Way by Christina Pirello

2 acorn squash, halved lengthwise and seeds removed
Spring Water
3 T Safflower oil
3 T brown rice syrup
2 t of powdered ginger
Dash of nutmeg
Dash of cinnamon
Sea salt
5 T of fruit-sweetened apricot preserves

Preheat oven to 350F. Lightly oil a baking dish and place squash halves cut side down in dish, add a little water and bake for 20 min. Whisk together oil, rice syrup, spices, and preserves. Remove squash from oven and turn up. Brush insides with syrup and spoon the rest in the hollow. Cover loosely with foil and return to oven. Bake until tender about 35 min. Serve hot.

These are incredible, delicious and as sweet as any dessert! Acorn squash have quickly stolen my heart as the tastiest and most versatile squash. One of the many reasons I love Fall.

Happy, healthy, and whole eating to you!