Moriah Kayte Martin

Our precious little girl was born Wednesday June 8th at 9:00pm. She was 6 lbs, 14 oz and 20.5 inches. She's precious and I can't wait to share her birth/adoption story with yall. It was an incredible event, and we're so blessed. Our birthmother is amazing, we love her and her family more than words can say. More to come, but here's a picture for now.

La Vida Loca

Ugh, I am a bad blogger. Does preparing for a baby, having surgery, hiring and training a new assistant excuse me?

First things first, we got to meet our sweet birthmother. K is a precious, precious young lady. We had dinner with her and her parents. Her mom had bought me the Motherhood necklace from James Avery, so special to me! K had framed all four ultrasounds pictures of our baby girl. I just love it! it sits on our dresser and I stare at it everyday. She and I text often and we talk about once a week. She is 31 weeks pregnant, baby girl Martin is going to be here soon! A lot of walls came down after meeting her. She is very secure with this decision and has parents who have backed adoption from the beginning. It's about as good as it gets in adoption. Not only has she asked me to be in the delivery room, but she's asked for our families to come to the hospital. What a gift yall! It just doesn't happen in adoption. We're so extremely blessed!

We continue to pray diligently for K. She carries a lot of shame still. She needs to know Jesus paid the price for that shame. I hope to have a chance when we visit in late May and she and I get some time alone, to share the gospel with her. She claims to know God, but she's very confused on who he is.

One of the most amazing parts of adoption is praying for K. If I was pregnant and praying for this precious baby, my greatest prayer would be that she would "love the Lord with all her heart, soul, mind, and strength." With adoption, we are praying that same prayer for K. The Lord has continually reminded us that this adoption isn't just about him granting the desire of our heart for a family. It's really about so much more. It's kingdom minded, loving K and her family, having gospel intentionality. He's literally moved mountains to bring this baby home, and J and I are so stinking humbled to be a small part of this greater story.

Surgery....I am currently awaiting surgery on Wednesday morning. I had some intense bleeding last week and we took a trip, against my will, to the ER. I hate ER's, that could be an entire post. They found a large and vascular polyp in my uterus. It's been a tough week and a half. Medication was used to stop the bleeding, there was almost another ER trip and emergency surgery, but the Lord answered prayers and it's subsided. I am supplementing with iron, and feel much better this week. Would love prayers for my pain and recovery. It's a two hour surgery, my doctor will be very meticulous. Thankful for that as well!

Vacation.....I leave for a vacation with my mom in three and half weeks! So pumped. I have at least 18 baby books to read, but it will be nice to get away before baby M arrives.

Registering...where to even begin. So....much...research. I am thankful for mom friends with advice. Oh how I love Amazon's universal registry!

Shower...the girls here in Austin are throwing me a baby shower in about two weeks. I am so pumped and just can't believe this is all happening! K and her mom wanted me to have something to open from them, isn't that just so sweet? The ladies attending this shower have prayed down the heavens for this little baby girl, so it will be very special to celebrate what God has done.

Making room....we'll have a full house this summer. J will be in Dallas during the week for his internship and we'll have two college girls, two dogs, and a baby due around June 19th! Party at our place!

Gratitude.....living each day giving thanks, even for the trials. The Lord is teaching me so much about living a life of deep gratitude. He's been using Ann Voskamp's book "One Thousand Gifts" to open my eyes. Highly recommend her book, it will insanely challenge you.

The Call

It was a week ago today that we received the long awaited "call". Yes, friends...we have a birthmother who wants to match with us!!

It was like every other Monday, waking up and making breakfast for Jacob, starting my work day, getting ready for noon yoga, yet the Lord was waiting to bless us, waiting to reveal the next part of his perfect plan, all of heaven waited in anticipation. And me, I was putting on my mascara.

Yes, getting ready and standing at the mirror. As I stood there, lost in my routine, I thought about the last month...how painful it had been. Two and a half weeks before we had lost another precious baby. Ten days before that I stared at a positive test, the third in my life. We thought this pregnancy would surely last, God surprised us with a gift....he changed the plan because we had fully surrendered our will to Him and totally laid down ever having biological kids. And, we were beyond excited to adopt, we love adoption and God in his great power had raised $35,000 for us to adopt! But, we celebrated and trusted in a Dad who's been so good to us. We once again gave our hearts over to joy and to the life growing inside of me. It honored God to celebrate his gift of life, no matter how short-lived that life was. So, again he only took what he first gave. And he took away thinking about last Monday. He took away watching our hearts fail within us, but he thought about little hands and little feet, and he looked ahead to the joy He is going to reveal. But, we were shattered and our hearts ached. I felt numb in those first days after our loss...I sat in my bed and wondered if this was truly necessary. How could it possibly be for our good? He sent me here:

1 Peter 3:6-7 "In this you rejoice, though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been grieved by various trials, so that the tested genuineness of your faith--more precious than gold that perishes though it is tested by fire--may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ." emphasis mine

I wrote the date 2/19/11 by this verse and the words, "one day we'll know fully". Friends, God was once again testing the "genuineness of our faith". He had deemed this pain necessary for our faith to be further increased. He was asking us to trust Him in the fire knowing the eternal purpose.

And all the while, he was thinking about last Monday.

Our precious community rallied around us, and we just love them so much. They fed us, wept with us, washed us in the Word, and "bore our burdens" with us. True biblical community, what a precious gift it is!

Back to last Monday morning, as I put on the mascara which in a few short hours would be all over my face, I had this overwhelming thought in my heart that our caseworker was going to call, and not only was she going to call, but she had a baby for us. I quickly dismissed and pushed this thought away, a lot of self-talk on how silly I was being. Looking back, the Holy Spirit was preparing me for this call. As I drove to yoga and exited the freeway, my phone rang and Gladney came up on the screen. I about wrecked off the road, I quickly pulled over and answered. She did have a match for us. As she spilled all the details, I literally couldn't keep it together...and even more overwhelming than this precious birthmom choosing us and the baby she is carrying...was the fact that an hour before the Lord had revealed it to my heart!! I wept. Such an amazing feeling, and one week later, I'm still just as amazed at how the Lord choose to reveal all of this.

Friday at 5pm was the most nervous I've ever been for any call in my life. All day I had butterflies. Our phone rang and I answered knowing who was on the other line and Jacob and I began a conversation with the young woman who wants to give us her baby to be our own. Surreal doesn't even cut it. She's precious and we love her already. It was an amazing and natural conversation. And in two weeks or so, we will travel to meet her and her family. She's due June 19th and with a precious baby

GIRL!!!!!!!!

Oh my goodness, can't even begin to descrive how elated we are about this baby girl!!We hope and believe that no matter the outcome in the end, God is for us. So, today we celebrate how good Jesus is! We celebrate and we believe he is sovereign and that his plan for our lives is perfect. I know so many of yall have prayed and prayed your hearts out for this day to come, and we are just so thankful for those prayers. God is good.

"Come, let us return to the Lord; for he has torn us, that he may heal us; he has struck us down, and he will bind us up." Hosea 6:1

For My Love-Blueberry Coconut Pecan Pancakes with Maple Coconut Syrup

Hey friends! Well after drudging through busy season and battling my first cold in over three years for the last 8 days...I think I can safely say that I am back! In honor of February beginning tomorrow, the month of our third wedding anniversary (2/2) and Valentine's Day...I made pancakes for my love this morning. They were a huge hit, and are a healthier, whole grain, low sugar, good oil, breakfast option.

Here's my recipe:

1 1/2 cups of whole grain spelt flour
2 tsp of baking powder
1 tsp of cinnamon
2 pinches of salt
1/4 tsp Maca powder (optional)
1 1/3 cup of almond milk
fresh blueberries
pecan pieces
shredded unsweetened coconut

Syrup recipe from Angela with Oh She Glows:

1 heaping TB of coconut oil
3 TB of maple syrup

Whisk the dry ingredients together in a mixing bowl and slowly stir in the almond milk. Heat a griddle over medium heat and spray with olive oil (or any cooking spray). Drop 3 spoonfuls of batter on griddle and sprinkle with pecans, blueberries, and coconut. Flip when bubbling (about two minutes) and cook other side. Makes about 6-7 small pancakes.



For syrup, mix oil and maple syrup together on low heat in a saucepan. Enjoy!

And it Begins....

We received our first call from our caseworker, B, three days after her approval of our profile. I had sent it to press and we didn't even have copies in hand yet. It was an insane week, as I was in Houston for work and Jacob was preparing for finals. It was a tough first call, a very hard situation. Jacob and I prayed over it and wrestled with it and slept on it and decided it wasn't something we should say "yes" to. There's so much more to it, I just can't give details. We believe the Lord was working in our hearts, and know without a doubt that we made the right decision. The next day, YES....the next day, B called again with another opportunity. This opportunity we said YES to, which means our profile was shown to this birthmother, who we will refer to as H. H had already had this baby, a little boy, he was three weeks old. Talk about crazy to wrap your mind around, we could have a son! She narrowed it down to us and one other family, and was putting together a list of questions for each. Then Thanksgiving came and went and we heard nothing. After another week, I emailed B and she said H was under a lot of pressure from her mother and the agency was backing off to give her space. That's the last we've heard. I've prayed for H as often as the Lord brings her to mind, she is young and has much on her plate. It is a privilege to pray for her.

Yes, it was so exciting and unexpected to get calls so quickly. We had been prepared by the agency for 9-12 months of waiting, and it could still very well be that length, but it was a shock for it to be DAYS. Yes, it been a little bit of a let down to feel like we were close and then to hear nothing for the last month. BUT God know and sees. I have to resist the temptation to think of these experiences as cruel...as though God was "holding out the carrot" for me. This was for our good, and even though I don't understand it...I don't need to. I just need to wait well and trust His sovereignty.

I read this today off the Christian Adoption Service blog and it was a great reminder for me. I hope it encourages you as well.

Waiting and Wondering
By Wendy Lawton
From Impressions in Clay
copyrighted 2005 by Wendy Lawton.
Published by Moody Publishers.
Journey November 2010
Pages 16-18

We spend much of our lives waiting. We wait in lines to buy food. We wait on a street corner for a bus. When we are children, we wait impatiently to grow up. As adults we wait with dread for old age to set in. Some of us wait for healing. Others wait for circumstances to change. When we read the word wait in the Bible, it often means an entirely different thing. In our everyday lives, drumming fingers, twiddling thumbs, or restless pacing usually accompany our waiting. The waiting we see in the Bible is all about supplication and relationship. When we hear "wait on the Lord," the injunction is to be quiet, to listen, to pray, to anticipate. It's the opposite of the everyday uneasy wait. It's not about lines and delays; it's about being still and getting connected. We can learn to wait on the Lord in the everyday bustle of life. As we spend precious minutes delayed at the airport or waiting for someone at the doctor's office, we can learn to really wait, to listen for God's voice. Back in Jerusalem, had Jeremiah seen the pot through to completion, he might have been dismayed to discover that even a perfectly formed vessel still has a long way to go. After the pot is made, the potter turns his back on the vessel while it's put on a shelf to air-dry. It's an image to ponder-- the vessel, set aside, becoming drier and drier. The image resonates with me. It parallels those times when I experience spiritual and emotional dryness. I've noticed that I begin to describe those strange wilderness times with phrases that begin with "I feel ..." or "I think ..." For instance, I may feel God is far away. Or I think He's turned His back on me for some reason. I feel as if I can't pray. I think God no longer listens. Imagine the feelings of htat set-aside pot, banished to the drying shelf while he hears the potter working on a new vessel. Perhaps he longs to have the potter's hands on his moist clay once again. Instead, he feels his clay body getting drier and drier. What he wouldn't give for the potter to simply turn around and acknowledge him. The sun comes in through the window behind him, and with way too much time on his hands, he starts noticing the shadows cast against the shed wall. How come he never noticed relative size before? Some might even characterize him as a modest-sized pot compared to the others. What if his mission in life is to be equally modest? He looks around, trying to compare his shape to the shape of the other pots in the drying room when he catches a movement through the doorway. It's a new pot rising from the potter's wheel. What? It's the biggest pot yet. Surely it will hold enough wine for a wedding feast. He feels further diminished, and still the potter never turns away from the moving wheel. Think ... Feel ... the words themselves give a clue to the problem. This set-aside time in our spiritual journey is often marked by words of emotion. The anthropomorphic pot in our example gave in to insecurities and started comparing himself to others. The more diminished he felt, the more his neediness grew. We've all experienced this. Sometimes insecurity is followed by other emotions life anger. "What am I?" "Why not me?" Or jealousy. "Why does God prosper that person's business when I've been serving Him for 20 years?" Or it may even take a self-deprecating turn. "I'm worthless and this proves it." The most important thing to remember is that emotions are great deceivers. Do not trust them. Our pot didn't have all the facts. The potter knew that if the clay body of the vessel didn't dry completely problems would occur in the firing and the pot could be lost. Just a bit of moisture could cause the glaze to crawl, ruining the pot in the end. The pot compared himself to the larger jar, but he had no idea what the potter had in store for him. What if the modest pot were to be decorated with a design of cobalt and gold and become a vessel to hold frankincense for a king? Or what if he remained a modest clay vessel whose only task was to pour drops of water onto lips of children dying from thirst? Who can begin to know the eternal worth of our mission? In the midst of a dry season in our life, we need to hold on to God's words. Did He say He'd never leave us? Grab that promise. Replace untrustworthy emotions with solid truth. Whether we feel connected, but we've made the intellectual decision to believe His promises. Hosea 6:3 says, "Let us strive to know the Lord. His appearance is as sure as the dawn. He will come to us like the rain, like the spring showers that water the land." That's a promise, no matter how dry we feel.

We Are a Waiting Family!

It is with utter joy that I type out that title. I'm devastated...the good kind of devastated. I just can't even believe it! Let me give you the back ground, so you too can share in the joy...of a God who is SO faithful!

Two weeks ago tonight we were about $4500 away from this part of the payment. I'll give you a better understanding of the process. Our agency breaks it down into three payments. 25% of the total to begin the process (homestudy), 50% to be waiting and approved, and the final 25% at the match with a birthmother. This middle payment is $17,500. That's a nice, new car my friends. Back to tonight two weeks ago, we got a call that a generous person wanted to finish out this payment, all of it. Done. We were floored. Blessed. Our hearts were so full. I worked my tail off to finish our profile that weekend so our caseworker could approve it Monday. Fast forward to Tuesday, and I get an email from the agency saying that we have a balance of $1070. There had been a miscalculation. I was devastated...the not good kind. If I am going to be honest, and I am, I was angry. I might as well have shook my fists at God. "Lord, how could you get us this close and have us rejoice in what you've done, to only find out that we aren't there?" I was low. I pitied myself. I compared. I moped. I felt abandoned and mistreated. I ached. Lots of ugly. I didn't tell many people what happened, which was hard because I had announced it on FB already and people knew. I have the most amazing man in the world, but it didn't affect him the same. He just knew God was going to provide. His showing of faith only made me angrier, followed by guilt over my sinful self. Good friends of ours gave us a check last Friday, which left $820. We were so thankful and blessed, but I wrestled even more with being that close. I let it create apathy in my spirit and it kept me from sweet communion with a loving God....who was indeed "working in all things for our good." That apathy reflected in my quiet times, how I treated my man, and even my conversations with others.

Today, I received a call from our caseworker. She was calling to check on us and I reminded her of our balance, literally said it out loud. "And you know we have $820 left!" It stung to hear those words come from my mouth. Her reply, "well actually, that's why I called, an anonymous donor called this morning and paid the balance in full." Long pause on my end. I could hardly reply. I felt joy and conviction. I felt heavy. I told J, but was in a bad mood for a good while...all because of my sin. I was mad at myself for missing out on the greater gift...trusting that God is completely in control. The clouds did lift and I am overjoyed! So, so thankful! I talked this all out tonight with my precious girlfriends in our community which helped me see it for what it all really is...more refining...more time on the Potter's wheel. I know it well. I am thankful for it. I have a good Dad. He loves me, in spite of myself, and my shortcomings. He's using this process to prune me into something beautiful and he's writing the most beautiful story teaching me about His grace in my own adoption through the adoption of our child.

We're praising God over here, inviting yall to praise Him with us! He's paid my balance, your balance, in full through the death of His Son on an old rugged cross.

Vegan Pumpkin Pie Ovenight Oats

Breakfast needed some "jazzing" up around here, and I was on a mission to find some recipes that could be prepped the night before. So, I found Angela's blog. My overnight oats recipe is done in a crockpot overnight with green apples and it's good and hearty, but I loved her recipe for Pumpkin Pie Overnight Oats and it's Fall, so anything pumpkin is on my list!

These are super easy and you put in a tupperware before bed and when you wake up toss in walnuts and raisins and voila, breakfast!

I should highlight chia seeds before we begin. These tiny seeds are a nutrition bomb!

• 30% of the chia seed’s oil is Omega 3 oil. 40% of its oil is Omega 6 oil. This provides the nice balance those who take supplemental Essential Fatty Acids are looking for. The chia seed’s substantially dense percentage in alpha-linolenic fatty acid also makes this seed a healthy dietary source of fatty acids.
• You do not need to grind the Chia Seeds to digest it. It is a relatively easy to digest seed, whereas flax seeds are not. Often, one has to grind flax seeds to be able to process them in their digestive system. That is not the case with chia seeds.
• The chia seeds are great for athletes because they are highly hydrophilic. Being hydrophilic means it absorbs large amounts of water. Chia Seeds can absorb over 10 times their weight in water making them a great enhancer in hydrating our bodies. They absorb the water we drink holding it in our system longer.
• Studies show that eating chia seed slows down how fast our bodies convert carbohydrate calories into simple sugars. This leads scientists to believe that the chia seed may have great benefits for diabetics.
• The chia seed gels when becoming wet and this gel, when in our digestive systems, helps prevent some of the food, hence calories that we eat from getting absorbed into our system. This blockage of calorie absorption makes the chia seed a great diet helper. Eating the seeds also helps dieters by making them feel fuller faster so they will be less hungry!
• Chia seeds provide antioxidant activity
• Chia is a great addition to a detoxification program. Chia seeds are high in fiber and in healthy oils making them an excellent addition to many detox programs


Pumpkin Pie Overnight Oats


Ingredients:

1/3-1/2 cup oats
1.5 tbsp chia seeds
1/2 tsp pumpkin pie spice (or 1/4 tsp cinnamon, 1/8th tsp nutmeg, 1/8th tsp ginger)
3/4 cup Almond Milk
1/2 tbsp pure maple syrup
1/3 cup canned pumpkin
Walnuts (topping)
Raisins (topping)



Directions:

Mix the oats, chia seeds, and spices in a small bowl. Now add the Almond milk and maple syrup and whisk until mixed. Add in the pumpkin and whisk again until fully incorporated. Place in the fridge for at least 1 hour or overnight. Top with raisins, walnuts, and more milk if needed and enjoy your creamy pumpkin pie oats!