We Are a Waiting Family!

It is with utter joy that I type out that title. I'm devastated...the good kind of devastated. I just can't even believe it! Let me give you the back ground, so you too can share in the joy...of a God who is SO faithful!

Two weeks ago tonight we were about $4500 away from this part of the payment. I'll give you a better understanding of the process. Our agency breaks it down into three payments. 25% of the total to begin the process (homestudy), 50% to be waiting and approved, and the final 25% at the match with a birthmother. This middle payment is $17,500. That's a nice, new car my friends. Back to tonight two weeks ago, we got a call that a generous person wanted to finish out this payment, all of it. Done. We were floored. Blessed. Our hearts were so full. I worked my tail off to finish our profile that weekend so our caseworker could approve it Monday. Fast forward to Tuesday, and I get an email from the agency saying that we have a balance of $1070. There had been a miscalculation. I was devastated...the not good kind. If I am going to be honest, and I am, I was angry. I might as well have shook my fists at God. "Lord, how could you get us this close and have us rejoice in what you've done, to only find out that we aren't there?" I was low. I pitied myself. I compared. I moped. I felt abandoned and mistreated. I ached. Lots of ugly. I didn't tell many people what happened, which was hard because I had announced it on FB already and people knew. I have the most amazing man in the world, but it didn't affect him the same. He just knew God was going to provide. His showing of faith only made me angrier, followed by guilt over my sinful self. Good friends of ours gave us a check last Friday, which left $820. We were so thankful and blessed, but I wrestled even more with being that close. I let it create apathy in my spirit and it kept me from sweet communion with a loving God....who was indeed "working in all things for our good." That apathy reflected in my quiet times, how I treated my man, and even my conversations with others.

Today, I received a call from our caseworker. She was calling to check on us and I reminded her of our balance, literally said it out loud. "And you know we have $820 left!" It stung to hear those words come from my mouth. Her reply, "well actually, that's why I called, an anonymous donor called this morning and paid the balance in full." Long pause on my end. I could hardly reply. I felt joy and conviction. I felt heavy. I told J, but was in a bad mood for a good while...all because of my sin. I was mad at myself for missing out on the greater gift...trusting that God is completely in control. The clouds did lift and I am overjoyed! So, so thankful! I talked this all out tonight with my precious girlfriends in our community which helped me see it for what it all really is...more refining...more time on the Potter's wheel. I know it well. I am thankful for it. I have a good Dad. He loves me, in spite of myself, and my shortcomings. He's using this process to prune me into something beautiful and he's writing the most beautiful story teaching me about His grace in my own adoption through the adoption of our child.

We're praising God over here, inviting yall to praise Him with us! He's paid my balance, your balance, in full through the death of His Son on an old rugged cross.

Martin Family Garage Sale-This Saturday September 18th!!

Precious friends. We are having our adoption support garage sale this weekend! Others have been so generous and we have a lot of stuff...now please join us in praying that it SELLS!

If anyone has good "garage sale" advice....please send it my way! This is my first ever garage sale.

Bless yall!